By Michael Perry
Predators have me marked as prey
and prey they do before feasting upon me.
Consuming my fears
while digesting my will
Eliminating any signs of hope my mind can muster
leaving me the empty shell
Pessimism can't even call home
because everything about me is their choosing
No matter how much I decry it as my own
Memories, comments, condolences
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I met you only two short days before you were taken into custody. I remember the first time that I saw you and how much fun it was hanging out with you.
I remember walking through Sawmill Park with you and even though I had only met you the day before, I felt a connection that was too strong to ignore.
I told you things about my life and me that some people still dont know to this day, nine years later. Remember "best friends"?
Remember the flowers that I picked for you and everyone else that was there when all that craziness was happening?
I still remember that look on your face.... your mouth twisting up into a surprised smile, your eyes lighting up.
Do you remember? I can never forget.... I remember snuggling up against your white t shirt and still remember the way it smelled.
The cute stuffed dog that you gave me.... The hug that you gave me right before I never saw you again.
When the cops busted in my house and told me that you were a murderer? I didn't believe it, I couldn't believe it.
I had everyone telling me that you did this. Sandra Stotler's daughter asked me how I could want to protect you....
The cops, the DA, Jason Burkett, the newspapers. When I read the "confession" I was even more shocked.
We wrote eachother for about two years. I loved you I thought you would get out and that we would be together.
I was so confused. The person writing me this letter did not do what they said he did.
God I am so sorry. You will never know how sorry I am that I stopped writing. Everyone on the outside filled up my head with so
much crap I wish I would have listened to you. I NEVER STOPPED THINKING OF YOU!!!
Please know this and I NEVER WILL! I have made so many mistakes in my life but this was the biggest.
I always kept up with your case, signed your petition, went on this web site constantly, and reached out a few times over the years only to pull back again.
You will never know how much I regret this. When they took you away on July 1st I was sick. There was so much more that I never said.
I only pray that you are in heaven and willing to forgive me. I know you are. I know that you didn't do what they said you did.
I'm just sorry that I didn't know this sooner to tell you. You were a beautiful person and even though you were in jail facing a horrible thing,
you still would try to help me when I got depressed. Remember "Father Romeo"?
Haha You could always make me laugh. I wish I would have got to know your family and the people that fought for you so hard.
I have every letter you have ever written me along with the artwork on the envelopes and in the letters. I know one day that we will meet again.
I love you always, please forgive me.
Sarah Buehler "Angel"
To my great friend
There are so many things I would like to tell you but I will try to make it short, even if you always enjoyed to receive long letters from me ;-)
Michael…I miss you…Since you’re gone, there is NOT a single day when I don’t think about you. My life is not the same anymore.
As I told you, you caught me from day one and as you wrote me once: “I am VERY happy to have found you, or, you to have found me, or whatever :0)
I did not know that the day when I ended up on your website and decided to write you, would be the day of THE CHANGE. From that day, everything changed.
My whole life changed. I got to know YOU.
You, the incredible person who always found the right words to make me laugh, to cheer me up when I was feeling down and helpless.
You, the amazing person, who always cared about me, who always wanted to hear from me, even when I was in a sad or bad mood.
You, the great person, who, while sitting on DR in a cold and tiny cell, always had a smile on his face. I have found a best friend in you.
We have shared so much…laughs, tears, happiness, sadness, fears and hope…
Days after days, I opened my heart to you and you did the same. We became friends, REAL friends.
Your friendship was the best beautiful gift you could have ever offered me and I am so proud to have been your friend.
My life also changed in the way that I got to enter the world of Death Penalty. You were the first and only inmate I wrote to and your first letter
really amazed me. You were the first one to warn me, to tell me that I am about to start a very tough fight, to tell me that
I should think about it because the world I am about to enter is horrible…
But I couldn’t step back and I jumped right in...
In this world, the word LIFE has no meaning anymore. In this world, the word revenge is much more powerful than justice.
I entered a world that I don’t understand, that I refuse to live in.
In this world, innocent people are legally murdered. In this world, money is much more powerful than facts. And people call this justice??
I believed and still believe in your innocence.
And I have to thank you Sweety.
Thanks to you I am now a much stronger and more powerful person.
You taught me that anger is not the solution. You taught me that, even the people who wanted you to die should be treated with respect.
You had no hate in your heart, not even towards your enemies.
And I also have to thank you because I have now a goal in my life and it is to fight the death penalty. I want the people to open their eyes
and to face the sad reality of what they vote for.
I understand the pain of the people who lost their loved ones but as Gandhi said: “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”.
We kill the people to show them that killing is wrong...this is not justice, this is revenge...
And thanks to you I have met great people: Ken, Christina, Marco, Laura-Kate, Dazza, Bev and Natalia… I am so proud to be part of your “family”!
Michael, in one of your last letters, you asked me to send you “a loooooong email, a funny email, not a sad one. A just be yourself email :0)”.
I am sorry because I got your letter too late and it makes me sad. You wanted me to make you laugh and I was not there…
I miss your letters Babyboy. I miss all the little things we shared together… The sound of your voice still resonates in my head.
I will never forget the last laugh we got to share, just some hours before…
It is tough to be without you but as promised, I try my best to smile as much as possible, to enjoy every little moments of happiness.
They only took your body Sweety, your spirit and soul are still with me, with us, all of us! Yes my dear, even if I am non believer ;-),
I still believe in life after death and I KNOW that you’re around, watching us and sharing all our smiles. Please take care of us
Sweetheart, we all need you. Wipe away our tears and keep on smiling down on us.
I love you Sweety and will always do. Thousands of Bisous, for you my friend.
Your Babygirl, the lioness.
Sunday, August 01, 2010
To My Dear Brother Michael,
It has been a month since God took you home and there isn’t an hour of the day that I don’t miss you.
I don’t think it is possible to tell you how much you impacted my life and what your friendship meant to me.
Because of that friendship, I am a better person today than the person I was 3 years ago.
I thank you for that, Michael. There is so much that I learned from you that I never thought I could learn.
For instance, you taught me compassion on a level I never knew before. You would not let me speak badly
of others without getting to know them and when I did, you would call me out on it. I have taken that lesson
and found that I missed out on a lot of good people. You taught me patience. I had to learn to be patient
with you when your bi-polar was running wild. The times I thought about walking away from you were
many at first, but I knew I could never do that. There was something about you that would not allow me to
give up and that was the fact that you needed me to be there for you. I finally realized that you couldn’t
help how you were feeling and that you were waging a war with your emotions. I am so glad that I stayed.
I watched you grow from a scared little boy into a man that feared nothing. It was impressive to watch.
I guess that’s why I consider you to be my hero. You were staring death in the face for 9 years and
yet you were more concerned about your family and friends. When my father died in October of 2008,
I don’t think you stopped worrying about me for 6 months. I never told you how much my father’s
death affected me and even went out of my way to tell you it was not that big of a deal, but you knew better.
You saw right through me, knew what kind of pain I was in and you gave me your shoulder to cry on.
I thank you for that, my dear brother; I don’t know what I would have done without your support.
Michael, I have a lot of anger in me still. I know it’s wrong but I feel completely ripped off because they took
the most important person in my life away from me. After you died, I heard the family of the victims call
you a monster because you wouldn’t acknowledge them at your execution. Can you believe that?
That statement filled me with rage and I’m glad you never looked in their direction for you had no reason
to try and make them feel better; you were innocent! I no longer felt sorry for those people;
I wanted them to suffer over and over again. I wanted to bring their loved ones back just so I could take
their lives again and rip open those old wounds. I wanted to take them on an all expense paid trip to
Hell and I would be their tour guide. The sheer ignorance and stupidity of these people who believed
everything the police and prosecutors told them is mind blowing. I wanted to hurt anyone who had
anything to do with your death. I have since, mellowed some. I still have anger, Michael, but I
don’t have the rage or the need for revenge. I have forgiven them. God has a plan for all of us and his plan
for me is not to do harm to others but to help them. I will do this in your memory; I will do this so other
death row inmates have a chance at life.
Michael, I love you and I always will. I told you at our last visit that I would be along soon enough
and we could finally go to that castle you always wanted to see. I hope to live a good long life but that
is a double edged sword for the longer I’m here on Earth, the longer it will be before I can be with my
“Little Dude”. I still cry for you and there is a hole in my heart that will never be filled.
You were my best friend and brother and there are only a few people who really know how close we were.
Marco, Chris, Steph, Dazza, and Lara Kate knew but the one person who really knows how devastated I
was is Emily. She always told me how much you loved me and she knew how much I loved you.
She understood the bond we had and she was there for me right after your execution.
We cried together; then, we celebrated your life together. You touched so many people’s lives, bro,
it’s incredible. I will end this now but I will always talk to you and ask for your help.
You are my guardian angel now which is a good thing because the last one sucked! ;0)
Good night my beautiful brother, I love you, I adore you and that will never change. Until we meet again…
Your Big Brother
Ken “Pumpkin Head” Adams
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Persons Executed So Far This Year
Polunsky Unit Contacts
Did you know...
that 8 people have been executed although there was strong evidence that they were innocent. Five of these executions took place in Texas