Death Row, Day by Day
Most of the days and events in here are the same as the day before.
But, on occasion, something noteworthy happens and I jot it down so my friend can post it here.
I could write quite alot about how hard it is, waiting to die...but I don't want people to pity me.
I want people to understand "death row" and think about how wrong capital punishment really is.
Michael Perry #999444
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Had a visit with my parents today, as always it went really well. They always lift me up, help me to make it another week or two.
The rest of the day was spent on rest and legal work my father asked me to do.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Found out that Shannon "Tank" Thomas, who was murdered by the state of Texas on Wednesday had alot of protesters in front of the prison and "refused" to go willynilly
to his death.
So THAT'S why they had us locked down.
Other than that, the day was normal as can be expected. I'm ready to get my radio and hot-pot tomorrow, hopefully.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Yep, I got a radio & hot-pot! I LOVE music, but, of course there had to be a catch. The stations are all out! So, I must wait, again...
I am grateful nevertheless that I was able to purchase my radio and hot-pot.
Also, some guys are protesting all executions now so they act up every time there is an execution. I do not blame them, my heart goes out to them, even urges me to join in the protest.
People are being MURDERED!! People I have come to know & respect...
Life in here is painful.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Well, I've decided to change my hairstyle. I shaved the sides and faded them, and slicked my hair back. Made a "cap" to help "train" my hair. I had it that way in "the world."
Sunday, November 20, 2005
I'm so very tired right now but I am trying to make this a habit. Listening to the Houston vs Kansas City football game...it's 31-7 Kansas City at HALF-TIME!? Texas is horrible this year!
Well, about 15 minutes ago, they "gassed" one of the guys, and ran in his cell and beat him up.
Last I saw him his face and back were bleeding & they were taking him to the medical department.
Have no clue what happened. I'm sure I'll find out tomorrow.
I wrote 10 letters today, so I hope I might get some responses. I got pretty down and sad listening to the "Shout out Show" which is the radio station that lets people call or write in and "speak" to "us" in here.
All of these kind and caring people calling and expressing how much they love & care for their penpals/husbands/etc...
It made me feel very lonely and sad. So, I got on it and wrote all those letters. Will see what happens...
Monday, November 28, 2005
It becomes a challenge then, me versus the journal! I must prevail! I told myself, "Hey, I can miss one day and catch up" and the next thing I know, it's a week later?!
Time is really crazy in here. It feels slow, but races by. Figure that out!
Somedays, like recently, people in here like me find themselves wishing time would go faster, so that something might happen to change the repitious activities in our life.
Yet, we pray at times that time would stand still or even reverse, for fear.
THE fear we all live with, that DEATH is right around the corner...
Right now I sit in the legal visit booth, with my attorney. It is amazing that we have finished our visit and still have time, yet nothing to discuss at the moment. I'm usually complaining about the
fact that he leaves too soon. I have been caught off guard, however next time I will torture him with a long list of questions. :)
I am happy that he remembered everything this time, and also gave me some homework. Who would have thought I would actually look forward to homework?!
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Spent WAY too much time on "legal homework" last night. Now I gotta finish this drawing for a friend's daughter, and I'm sooo tired...But, that's what coffee's for, right?
Not much new happened today. I can feel myself beginning to "slump" again, so I am reading and sleeping alot so I do not get myself into trouble.
They gassed & beat up another guy today, there are like 7 or 8 people protesting the "murder" of Tony Ford that is scheduled for the next execution, the first execution of December.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Surprised they let "us" go to commissary today. Someone sent me some money, which was a happy surprise. I won't know who until they pass out our monthly account statements.
Was sad that my parents did not come today. I can't see how people can go without seeing their family.
I often wonder if I was guilty, would the time be easier for me? One of the main sources of my pain and frustration is the knowledge of my innocence. If I could take that away...I don't know.
The fact remains that I am innocent, and the pain remains.
:) Got a long letter from my mother today!! She seems to be doing pretty good, but our dog Gumbo is sick, and that dog is HUMAN to her. She eats better than most people, and sleeps more comfortably, too.
So I pray Gumbo is fine.
And, once again, my parents are out, doing amazing things.
They served Thanksgiving dinner to the kids at the detention center! Served them and ate with them!! My mother has a heart the size of Texas, so it got to her to see those kids like that. It's a good feeling to know that my parents
are out there helping people in need. I wish someone would have done it for me...
January 1, 2006
This place never ceases to amaze me. On December 16th, in the middle of the night, Sgt. Tully (sp?) and another officer came to my cage telling me I was going to "Jester 4," which is a psych ward/prison in Richmond, TX right outside of Houston. About a 2 hour drive from where I'm at now.
They had no explanation of why I was going, and told me not to pack my stuff because I would be right back. So off I go.
First off, it's like 50 degrees outside, and they tell me I can't wear socks, or boxers, or anything but a jumpsuit, and they give me these paper thin slippers! So, the whole way down there I'm freezing and can't feel my toes!
When we show up, a Sgt. Johnson asks me why I'm there, and when I can't tell her, she checks my paperwork. There is NO explanation there either! So they have to put me in a dayroom until they can find a captain to come determine what they should do with me.
When the captain comes, and asks his questions, and stil finds no reason for me to be there, he makes the mistake of asking me, "Why you kill 3 people?" And, of course, he was trying to get a reaction out of me. Apparently, they do not like death row inmates there.
See, what these people do not realize is if I had some "problems," and I told them to a state sanctioned doctor, nurse, etc., they can twist my words and use them against me. Trust me, they did it at my trial ALOT.
So, I tried to explain to them, if you, or ANYONE was put on DEATH ROW, of course that person is going to have some "issues." Depression, anger, stress, mood-swings, etc.
Add to that factor that the individual is innocent, and it should be accepted as fact that a person has some "issues." However, there is nothing to take "our" pain away but correcting the injustice that has been done to me. Even then, there will be some things that can never be given back, and made right, like the years stolen.
My biological grandma, as well as adopted grandparents have died since I've been in there, and that can never be made right.
So, the "state's" answer is to drug us up so much that we can't even function but to eat & sleep. Therefore successfully taking our minds off of the struggle at hand -
FIGHTING FOR OUR FREEDOM.
I've got to stay strong, but at fimes feel so weak. When I arrived back on the unit, all my commissary & clothes had been stolen!!
I'm in what's supposed to be the most secured facility in Texas, and I got burglarized!!
It tests one's patience. ANY OTHER PERSON would have acted out violently or raised hell...
But I remain "tranquil" and am givng the Lt's and Sgt's a chance to look into it all. They told me today, I would get my stuff back. Huuuh...We will see.
The struggle is to save my life. Why must I deal with so much ingorance along the way??
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